Star-crossed Hearts
by Writing in SIN
Summary: Emu is in love with Parad, and it seems like he can't put off from telling the bugster that any longer.


**STAR-CROSSED HEARTS**

* * *

It took them a while to get everything back to normal again after the whole Enigma debacle.

Well...as close to normal as they can get at least, considering circumstances. In that time, Emu refused to stray away from Parad when they don't need to. The whole week without Parad had drove him mad with worry and fear. So while the fact that his partner is safe and alive and home with him again is a relief, Emu doesn't ever want to take the risk of being separated from Parad again and sticks close.

He's just grateful that Parad takes it in stride and sticks just as close (if not closer) to him. Sure, losing his powers was hard, but losing Parad? If he hadn't felt the faint pulse of their bond still, Emu is sure he would've lost his mind from the grief and gone into a mental breakdown.

(Emu has already went through that harrowing experience from the trauma of losing Parad to Gamedeus, he never wants to go through it again).

After they cleaned up the mess Mogami left behind, it's a slow progress in returning to their lives again— they saved two parallel worlds for goodness sake; even for the lives they lead, that takes time to process.

Eventually, they managed to find their footing as days turned into weeks and into months, until a year has passed as life goes on.

In his and Parad's case however, he admits that it's both easy and difficult of a task to find their footing and the balance of things again. While he only lost Parad for a week, his partner had been alone for two whole years with none of the people he knows for company. Even though everyone's alternative selves were an option, Emu doubts it's a comfort for Parad, especially when his best friend told him that not everyone he knows are where they were supposed to be. And unfortunately, it's...different for his alternative self's case. Emu doesn't need Parad to tell him what had become of the Emu in Sento's world— the haunted look in Parad's eyes is enough for him to know what happened.

It simultaneously makes Emu very grateful for Parad's existence and curse Kiyonaga for his.

In the end, Parad as a whole hasn't changed too much that Emu wouldn't recognise him...but he's changed _enough_ for everyone to know that he's not exactly the same either. Matured, perhaps, would be the closest word he'd use. The bugster is still impish and mischievous as ever but the way he carries himself is far less childish than before. It's evident now though that Parad is far more responsible, independent and has even grown patient in handling and talking with people about complicated or even dull official matters without growing bored.

That part tends to throw a lot of people over the loop because while everyone knows his partner has always been frighteningly clever, Parad had nevertheless been someone who gets easily bored whenever something beside games are involved.

When Emu looks at Parad as he is now, he finds that the bugster seems more mellow and a bit more at peace with himself; no longer lost or struggling with the weight of his sins— straight backed with shoulders broader and stronger to carry the burden. His person is resolute in that way where someone who has done terrible wrongs is not really seeking forgiveness— but is instead striving to find ways to make up for past sins and do right by the people who'd been hurt.

Impossibly, it makes Emu more in love with Parad than he already is.

Funny how life works; a doctor loving and being in love with a living, breathing virus. Emu can't help it though. Even when they were enemies, there was something about Parad that he couldn't really shake off. After they became allies and eventually friends, Emu found himself steadily falling in love with Parad as days gone by. Honestly, he'd be surprised if he _didn't_ find himself in love with his partner. Stripped of his cruelty, hatred and ignorance, Emu discovered that Parad is someone that is remarkably easy to love. It makes him sad and guilty about how those things had twisted his bugster; had even blinded Emu to the person that's truly underneath. It makes his heart hurt thinking that he may or may not inadvertently twisted Parad into someone hurtful.

At the same time though, it makes him terribly sad that Emu wasn't there with Parad for that part of his life and his 've already lost six years together, and to know they've lost more is heart wrenching. The moment when he realised that, Emu had held onto Parad; crying so hard from the build up of a week long stress as Emu mourned for their lost time that he ended up passing out from exhaustion within the safety of Parad's arms.

As it is, when Emu woke up after that, he made the resolution to catch up on all that he missed as well as taking the time in getting to know Parad all over again because his partner does _not_ deserve to be constantly compared to who he was before. For the longest time, Emu has this bad habit of making the wrong choices when it comes to Parad— it's why things spiralled out of control that Emu had to use Muteki after all. So much hurt could've been avoided if he hadn't ignore Parad and made better choices. Not anymore though, because Emu is going to do right by Parad— no matter what.

Because of that though, Emu had to put his plans in confessing to Parad in the back burner.

Initially, he wanted to confess immediately after Parad's return but held off when he realised the hardships Parad had to go through when he was trapped in the other world; more so when there were the rare times that threw him off— like certain quirks or habits or moods or reactions that Parad didn't have before. It made Emu determined to make sure that when the time comes when this encompassing love he has for Parad will be known, there will absolutely be no doubt that it's for Parad as a whole; past, present, future.

That said, it's not exactly easy to hold himself back from blurting out his feelings; especially when everytime he tries to drop hints about said feelings, he's met with confusion or bafflement. By the time he realised that being blunt might be the best approach after all, a year has already passed.

Well, if nothing else, at least the year isn't wasted since Emu has no doubt that he's as much in love with Parad as he did before the whole Enigma ordeal happened— if not _more_.

"Have you taken a break yet, Emu?" Poppy asks, still in her Karino Asuna guise as she sits across from him at the table in CR.

He starts, breaking away from his thoughts and blinks down at the file he was supposed to be reading. Raising his head, he stares blankly at Poppy. "Pardon?"

"That's a no then," Poppy says with a fond giggle. "You've been staring at that page for almost a half an hour now. Maybe it's time for a break?"

Closing the file, Emu rubs his temples with a sigh. "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea."

Poppy places a hand on his arm, concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Getting there," he says with a wan smile, hand clutching his heart. Ever since Gamedeus and Enigma, being apart from Parad for too long tends to cause him a bit of an anxiety.

Thumb rubbing in comforting circles, Poppy gives his chest a curious glance. "Isn't Parad with you?"

"Not right now," he grumbles. "He's with Kyoutarou-sensei to discuss some breakthroughs about game disease. His time in Sento-kun's world helped him a lot in that, along with Mogami's research about the Nebula Bugsters."

Poppy claps her hands, excited. "Oh, that's wonderful!"

"It is," he agrees, smile turning more genuine.

Levelling him a look, Poppy folds her arms on the table and leans forward. "You haven't told him yet?"

Poppy doesn't need to clarify for Emu to know who she's talking about.

Biting his lip, Emu looks away from Poppy's scrutiny. "No."

"Why not?" Shuffling her chair closer, Poppy holds his hand in worry. "It's been a year since he came back from that other world."

If it's anyone else, Emu would've clammed up by now. But Poppy is one of his best friends and despite Emu's brittle composure at the time, Poppy is the only one outside of Parad who knows how much of a mess Emu truly was when Parad was trapped in the other world.

"I know," he mumbles, gripping Poppy's hand back. "But he went through a lot over there so I didn't want to overwhelm him with my feelings like that. It was more important to help him know that he was home again."

Poppy frowns. "But even when he _did_ settle back, you still didn't say anything."

"How could I?" Emu tilts his head back with a sigh, staring at the ceiling. "Me confessing would almost seemed insincere of me when he came back not exactly the same as before. There were parts of him I didn't know anymore and it wouldn't be fair for either of us if I told him how I feel when I missed out _two years_ of his life. I mean, wasn't six years already bad enough?"

Poppy gives his hand a comforting squeeze. "Neither of those times are your fault, Emu."

"Maybe not," he relents despite the sting of guilt still lingering inside him. "But I still shouldn't have let him go after Katsuragi alone."

"Still, for you not to tell him even now..." Poppy mumbles, brows furrowing in concern.

Emu huffs, giving his friend a wry smile. "I tried dropping hints. _Many times_. But he always seemed confused whenever I do that so I've always gone back and forth, wondering if I should say anything after all."

"Houjou Emu, if you honestly think that Parad isn't in love with you back, I swear I'll twist your ear," Poppy says sternly, hand raising uncomfortably close to his ear in warning. When he brings a hand up in surrender, Poppy drops it with a pout. "Honestly, I think Parad had already been halfway in love with you even back when we were still enemies."

That takes him by surprise. "Really?"

"A woman's intuition never lies!" Poppy exclaims before she clasps her hands under her chin. "So...?"

Clearing his throat, Emu rubs his neck and feels heat rising across his cheeks. "Well...I _have_ been thinking that I should just be blunt."

"Then go for it!" Poppy squeals, dancing in her seat as a grin lights up her face. "Oh, oh! Maybe before Tanabata? That way you can go on a date at the festival!"

"If he doesn't turn me down, that is," he mutters, sliding down in his seat.

"He won't," Poppy reassures. "Parad is so in love with you that I'm surprised that you haven't noticed all this time, Emu." Pursing her lips in thought, Poppy gives him a curious glance. "I mean, your hearts are connected after all— wouldn't you be able to know how he feels by using the bond?"

Emu folds his arms across his torso, shaking his head. "I could but that'll be a breach of trust and privacy." He tilts his head in thought. "Granted, we don't usually need to worry about that since neither of us have a problem for the other to know what's in our heads or hearts unless there's a clear..._boundary_ that keep certain things private until we're ready for the other to know."

"Hearing that makes me a bit jealous of the relationship that you two have," Poppy tells him, cradling her face with a dreamy sigh. "Relationship goals right there."

Face heating up, he stutters. "Eh?"

"You trust each other, respect each other, accept each other," Poppy lists off, ticking her fingers before she pouts at him. "_Love_ each other! And I'm not even talking about just in the romantic way either. I mean, anybody who sees the two of together can tell that the both of you simply love each other. Full stop."

Even as he covers his face, Emu can't hide the embarrassed yet pleased smile on his lips. "That's..."

"So don't worry, Emu." Leaning forward, Poppy gives him a serious look. "If there is a small, and I mean _micro small_ chance that he's not in love with you, it'll never stop him from loving you. Ever."

Chuckling, he nods and feels a bit lighter in knowing that. "I know, and I would've been happy to just be with him as we are now...it's just, it doesn't seemed fair if I don't let him know that I love him in that way too." Emu tugs his lanyard with a frown. "I don't like keeping things from him especially when it comes to loving him. Parad deserves to know that he's loved."

"Then I guess it's just a leap of faith, now." Giving him a soft smile, Poppy points to him. "And who better to do that with than the one you trust most, right?"

"Yeah," he agrees quietly, returning the smile. "Thank you, Poppy."

"Anytime!" Poppy gets up from her seat and wraps her arms around his shoulders in a hug. "You're one of my best friends after all!"

Emu feels his worry bleeding out, squeezing Poppy's arm in thanks. "You're one of my best friends too, Poppy."

All of a sudden, he feels the bond he shares with Parad briefly flaring to life before it quiets again. Thank goodness. It seems like Parad is finally back from the Ministry.

{Tadaima, Emu~!} Parad singsongs through the bond.

Grinning, he smiles in both joy and relief. [Okaeri, Parad]

{Lunch?}

[I'll meet you on the roof]

{'Kay!}

"Looks like I'll be taking that break now," he murmurs before turning to look up at Poppy. "Parad's back. It's a bit early but, do you wanna join us for lunch, Poppy?"

Poppy brightens before faltering and looks to her pile of paperwork then, at the clock with a wince. Letting him go with a sigh, Poppy closes the files and stacks them up. "Not today, I'm afraid. I need to hand this over to Kagami-inchou right now."

Emu nods, reaching into his bag and grabs his bento. "Don't push yourself too hard."

"Sure thing!" Poppy waves at him. "Say hi to Parad for me, okay?"

Chuckling, he makes his way to the elevator and waves back. "Will do."

When he arrives on the rooftop, it's to the sight of Parad lying spread eagle on the ground as if he's an overgrown cat sunbathing. Pausing at the doorway, Emu smiles as he observes his partner, feeling his heart aching sweetly in his chest.

The wind blows a gentle breeze, causing soft curls to dance across the relaxed features of Parad's face. It's a relief to see that Parad can relax more easily now without looking so lost like he did when he first resurrected. Back then, it was a bit rare to find Parad so carefree, what with helping CR and the Ministry to undo the damage that Chronicle left behind. And if it wasn't that then, it's the heavy burden of guilt Parad carries for his past sins.

While he knows that it's unavoidable considering what happened, Emu is grateful to note that Parad doesn't look like he's about to drown because of the burdens of the past. One can only carry guilt and blame for so long before they become debilitating shackles that would benefit no one.

Emu carefully walks over to his partner until he stands over the bugster's head. He then kneels and bends down until his face is barely a foot away from Parad's.

Expression still serene despite the shadow Emu is casting over him, Parad smiles as his eyes flutter opened. They stare at one another for a moment before the smile playing on impish lips widens into a delighted grin.

"Emu."

The way Parad says his name always makes him pause. Parad has always said his name…_differently_. Even when his name sounds more like his old moniker, Parad always has this certain way of saying his name. As if Emu's name is not just an identifier, but an _identity_— something precious, full and real. Even when they were enemies, Parad has always said his name like this. Always.

Grinning back, he tries to return the sentiment to the best of his abilities; hoping it's enough to convey how precious Parad is to him too. Always.

"Parad."

It's only when the bugster's eyes brighten with joy that Emu allows himself to believe that he succeeds.

He pulls back to let Parad sit up before they both settle beside each other on the rooftop ledge to eat their lunch.

"Gonna be a busy week again?" Parad asks, breaking the silence.

"Yup." Finishing the last of his lunch, he leans back against his palms and stares out at the city underneath them. "Especially since I volunteered to help decorate and everything."

Parad glances at him, surprised. "Decorate? For what?"

"Tanabata."

"Uwah...already?" Laughing, the bugster kicks his feet against the ledge. "Time sure flies."

Emu chuckles. "Right?"

"So, any plans for this year?" Parad sends him a teasing grin that doesn't exactly reach his eyes. "Maybe a date to the festival? I think I remember you being pretty popular back in high school."

Emu snort, rueful. "I think _you_ were the reason for that."

"You underestimate how lovable you are," Parad protests with a pout. It makes Emu want to lean over and kiss those lips, honestly.

He looks away, embarrassed at the compliment and of his straying thoughts. "Thanks." Clearing his throat, he carefully glances at Parad from the corner of his eye and admits slowly. "And...there _is_ someone that I would like to go on a date with to the festival actually."

Parad freezes, shoulders tensing before he ducks his head. "T-that so?"

That reaction...could it be? Is he allowed to hope for this after all?

"Yeah." Biting his lip, he rest his hands on his lap and clenches them together. "It's someone I've been in love with for quite some time now."

"I see," Parad mutters eventually, mouth twisting into a wistful smile. "That person's pretty lucky."

_'I'm the lucky one,'_ he corrects silently, wanting to reach over and take Parad's hand into his own but refrains himself out of uncertainty. _'Should I tell him now...? Ah, but I'm not mentally prepared yet!'_

"I haven't confessed yet though."

"Hah?" Head snapping to him, Parad stares incredulously at him. "Why not?"

He shrugs as he points out reasonably. "It's been very busy."

"Guess you've got a point there," Parad mutter before hesitantly giving him a curious look. "...Do I know this person?"

"...eh?"

Surely Parad would've at least noticed the hints Emu has been dropping for weeks by now, right? Or at least, the ones he's trying to convey at the moment.

Parad waves his arms about, flustered. "Ah, don't get me wrong. I know you're an adult and everything but I wanna at least know that this person will do right by you, y'know?"

_'It's **you** that I'm in love with, you imp,'_ Emu thinks almost hysterically in his mind.

And even if that isn't the case, the fact that Parad wants the best kind of person for him warms his heart. If Emu isn't already in love with Parad, he's sure he would start now.

"I wouldn't worry about that," he says eventually, tone lowering in reassurance as a smile plays on his lips for this person in front of him. "This person has done right by me in ways that I never thought I could ever experience."

Even as he says this, Emu feels like it's an understatement to how far they've both come along since they reunited back then. He's seen how Parad struggled to repent for his sins; determined and steadfast despite how lost he was. Through it all, Parad's sincere and earnest efforts to do right by him over the past two years is something that he can never ignore.

"That's..." Parad falters and Emu sees a fleeting gleam of devastation in his best friend's eyes before it's buried underneath a brittle grin. "That's good. I'm happy for you, Emu."

Restraint snapping at the clear despair, Emu reaches out to clutch Parad's hand into his own in a desperate grip. He tries to use the bond between them to reassure Parad of his feelings but the connection has since become murky with complicated emotions; regret and wistfulness warring against each other the most prominent of them all.

Why hasn't Parad noticed that Emu's been talking about the bugster? Parad has never been oblivious or dense and, Emu thinks that he's been obvious enough about exactly who he's in love with since the start of this conversation, hasn't he? Emu had even looked at Parad right in the eyes when he said those things!

"Parad—"

Parad takes his hand back, shaking his head and stands up to make his way to the middle of the rooftop, pacing. Parad only does this whenever he's trying to calm down. When Emu follows to stand behind him, he can see the bugster has pixelated spirals floating above his head before Parad turns back to him, voice quipping up with false cheer.

"Still, can I at least know who it is? Just in case that I need to punch 'em."

_'It's you!'_ he tries to shout down through the increasingly unstable bond to no avail since the bond tends to be unstable whenever either of them are distressed.

Dammit, he wasn't blunt enough! Maybe he should've said it outright? Risky as it may be.

"No punching," he rushes out as he grabs onto Parad's shoulders in a firm grip. "That'll be nothing but self-harm."

Brows furrowing, Parad scowls in confusion. "I don't understand."

Emu is seriously not mentally prepared for this and it's certainly not how he would've planned for it to go. Out of all the ways that he'd imagined himself in confessing to Parad, he didn't think it'll be _right now_ on the _rooftop_ but Emu supposed that there's really no good time than the present.

And well, the rooftop has always been the genesis to a number of things between them. Why not add one more to the list?

Right?

...Right.

Oh, please don't let him mess this up...!

He takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out.

"Because the person that I'm in love with..." It's now or never. "Is _you_, Parad."

Abruptly, the ringing in the bond stops out of shock and Emu takes advantage of that by pouring every bit of his feelings for Parad into it; all the trust and love and adoration he has for his partner— _everything_, so there's no room for doubt.

He sees the moment when Parad realises what Emu is doing, watching in relief when the tension that was winding up the bugster bleeds out as Parad gapes at him in shocked awe.

"Emu?" Parad breathes out, eyes bright with tentative hope.

Thankful that he reached him, Emu cups Parad's face in his hands and leans their foreheads together. Thumbs caressing sharp cheekbones, Emu smiles at the shocked bugster and murmurs the words he's been wanting to say for so long in the space between them. "I'm in love with you, Parad."

His partner looks up at him, surprise warring with affection in his eyes. "Yeah?" he says, and the word is so infused with hope it makes Emu's heart expand in his chest and despite how his nerves are shot, he finds that his next words are firmer, easier.

"Yes." Emu swallows, overwhelmed and tilts his head up to brush a kiss to Parad's forehead. "Yes, I am."

When he pulls back, he sees that Parad is looking at him with such disbelief and awe before Parad lets out a breath.

"Oh."

Then as if that's the catalyst to opening the floodgates, Emu feels the bond flares gold that it bowls the both of them over and bringing them down to their knees. Gasping at the onslaught of emotions, he feels Parad reaching up to cover Emu's hands.

"My heart is dancing with joy...I'm seriously so happy right now," Parad rasps out.

His own heart picks up at that admission, bright with hope. "Does that mean...?"

Arms wrap around his shoulders as he's pulled into a tight hug.

"_Yes_," Parad breathes out, fierce and desperate and Emu smiles as he tucks his face into Parad's neck and hugs back just as tight. "I'm in love with you too, Emu." Parad trembles in his arms. "I love you— so, so much."

Worried at the trembling and how the bond is threatening to destabilise again, Emu pulls back enough to find that Parad is crying in earnest to his alarm.

"Hey, don't cry," he coos gently, wiping away the tears and kissing Parad's eyelids. "Why are you crying?"

Parad lets out a sob, clutching onto Emu. "I thought that after all the horrible things I've done; all the trouble I've caused you, I shouldn't say anything— that I don't have the right and that you deserve someone better than me." Emu feels his heart break when Parad raises his head, the desperate hope clear in his eyes even through the tears. "When you told me that you're in love with someone and that you looked happy about it, I thought...I thought it was a sign that I should let you go now and support you. But to find out that it's me all along—"

_Oh._

Oh, he's an _idiot_.

Of course, Parad wouldn't notice the hints. Just because he can carry the weight of his sins better now, it doesn't mean Parad isn't still carrying the guilt for their turbulent past. His stomach churns at the likely possibility that Parad may had put himself down while making himself believe that Emu wouldn't love him back that way as well. It would explain why Parad always looked so confused— he probably thought there'd be no chance of Emu feeling this way. Does he think that it's a shame that the person Emu is in love with is Parad himself?

Goodness, why hadn't he _noticed?_

"I don't regret it," Emu says firmly. "I love you and I will _not_ apologise for that."

Hope and guilt war in the bugster's eye. "Emu..."

"I'm not sorry for loving you; in any shape or form." Emu wipes away the tears with his thumbs. "I'm not sorry for being in love with you either— not one bit."

Parad lets out a shuddering breath and leans into his touch. "I don't deserve you."

"It's not a matter of deserving," Emu corrects sternly before he turns wry. "And besides, even if it was, don't I get to decide who I deserve?"

Immediately, the bugster straightens up with a firm glint in his eyes. "Of course."

"And," Emu adds, shyly crawling onto Parad's lap as he straddles the bugster because if he's going to be blunt then he better pull out all the stops. He's just grateful that Parad doesn't seem to mind as the bugster automatically clutches his hips to keep him from falling (always looking out for him, no matter what). "I think we both can agree that I deserve someone who does right by me and makes me happy."

Parad furiously nods his head. "Absolutely."

This lovable _dork_.

"Parad," he says with a laugh, wrapping his arms around Parad's neck. "I'm talking about _you_."

Parad blinks several times before he turns red, sheepish. "Oh."

"If possible..." Feeling a rush of heat to his face, Emu clears his throat and tentatively says. "I'd like to do the same for you too."

Regaining his composure, Parad smiles at him; warm and loving. "You already have, Emu."

He blinks down at Parad, surprised. "I have?"

It always feels like he's not doing a good job in appreciating Parad with how careless or thoughtless Emu can unintentionally be at times.

"More than you think," Parad reassures, arms wrapping around his waist and reeling him close until their bodies are flushed together.

Breath stuttering, he can feel their hearts beating as one. "Then...be with me? In every way?"

"For as long as you want me," Parad promises, leaning up until their lips brush.

Smiling, he murmurs against Parad's mouth. "And if I want you forever?"

"Then forever is what we'll have," Parad states seriously before nipping playfully at Emu's bottom lip. "Fair warning though, Emu."

Eyes fluttering, he licks the seam of Parad's mouth. "Hm?"

"Being with me means that you're _mine_ and _only_ mine." There's that dark, dangerous glint in Parad's eyes that promises unspeakable pain to anyone who would dare try to steal Emu away. The sight of it makes him feel happy relief because it tells him that he's not the only that feels that way. "Is that alright with you?"

His mouth pulls back into a feral smirk. "More than; especially if you'll _only be mine_ too, Parad."

"I already am," Parad quips with a smug grin. "So, no objections here."

They're breathing each other's air as he bumps their noses together. "Then, you and me...always and forever."

"Always and forever," Parad vows back, grinning against his lips.

"I wanna kiss you now."

Parad bursts into cackles. "I'd be insulted if you didn't!"

The bugster meets him halfway, and the kiss is everything Emu imagined it would be: warm and wonderful and not nearly enough. He pulls Parad in as close as he can, losing himself in the intoxicating heady taste he never thought he would have and for the next few moments it's nothing but warmth and desire and the slick slide of tongues and wandering hands.

Through it all though, the bond thrums golden between them— happy and alive and _home_.

It seems forever before they finally break apart, and Emu stares into Parad's eyes, taking in the flushed face, the slightly parted lips. Slowly, he lifts a hand to press his thumb to Parad's bottom lip, huffing out a laugh when Parad hums and flicks his tongue over his skin with a cheshire grin.

"I love you," Parad murmurs, darting in for another kiss. "I am _so_ in love with you, Emu."

Hearing that, he can do nothing but grin; heart full and warm for this remarkable being in his arms. "And I love _you_, Parad— so very much."

They were a tragedy once; pitted against each other and doomed to hurt one another. Not anymore though. They've brokens the rules of the game and rewrote them to what they want. It wasn't easy of course, but it sure is worth it.

Makes them an invincible pair now, doesn't it?


End file.
